Gil’s Story

We were getting ready to go to the softball game (we = me, Mark, my dad, and Nish…oh wait…just me, Mark, and my dad) and I remembered seeing a softball in the alley outside the front door. I decided I should bring it to warm up before the game and went outside to get it. As I was trying to walk through that mess outside the front door I looked down into the trash can next to the wall and found…

“A TURTLE!” I exclaimed.

Thinking it may be a fake turtle or perhaps (God forbid) a dead turtle, I slightly kicked the trash can to see if it would move. It did! I quickly deduced what sex and species it was as well as its size and weight and thought to myself, “How did a male Red Eared Slider turtle measuring approximately 4.5″ and weighing approximately 9.4 ounces get into a 15.5 gallon trash can located at least 11.8 yards away from its nearest possible home?” (on a totally unrelated sidenote, our neighbor’s house is located approximately 11.8 yards away from our house).

I thought long and hard about dangerous treks across mountain trails and endless swims across deep oceans but alas, a logical answer never came to me.

At this point Mark came home from work and my dad came outside to investigate as well.

“A TURTLE!!” they both exclaimed.

We were running a little late for our softball game (again, we = me, Mark, my dad, and Ni…dammit, i mean…just me, Mark, and my dad), so we decided to put the turtle in a milk crate and leave him outside with some water and veggies, of course.

(Cut to scene when we got home after the game. The game, by the way, was a complete disaster. We really could’ve used Nish out there, but that’s a whole other problem that seems like will never be solved.)

“WHERE’S THE TURTLE!?” Mark and I asked exclamatorily.

It was gone. As quickly as it had come into our lives, it had left. But then a thought popped into our heads. What would aid us right now in finding the turtle…

“A FLASHLIGHT!” we both exclaimed.

Mark ran in and grabbed a flashlight. The search began.

In the shoebox? No.
Behind the bin of glass bottles? No.
In between the potted plants? No.

On the grass right outside the laundry room next to the water heater shed where the old clothesline used to be where now lies a stainless steel kitchen sink? YES!

“THERE IT IS!” we both exclaimed.

Mark in his excitement jumped the wall and landed catlike on his feet next to the turtle. He brought it back up and we began to think of all the possible ways the turtle could’ve gotten there including someone playing turtle shell curling and a turtle moonsault from the top ledge.

Due to Gil’s prior “escaping” nature, his middle name is “escapee”.  Sometimes he would climb out of the tank and hide under the couch. One morning he was found in the kitchen, waiting to become turtle soup!

However now,  the tank was finally moved to a higher spot on top of the bench and he no longer escapes.  He must be afraid of heights, just like Matt!  Gil resides with Matt and Kat, has a new basking lamp and seems content with life!  He is a part of the family and even partook in the engagement proposal!

THE END!